LOVE AND MARRIAGE

Hazrat Abdullah b.Abbas reported: The messenger of Allah observed:’You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who love.’ (Mishkaat ul Masabih)

Explanation

There are shades of both love and hatred in this world. Their causes too are different. The messenger of Allah observed: Of the love bonds, the strongest is the marriage bond and nothing surpasses marriage in promoting and sustaining love. The male comes from one family; the female from another. One is an Arab; the other a non-Arab. One, an Asian; the other, African. When they are united in Nikah, they dote on each other and become life long partners in love and affection. The offer and acceptance are exchanged and the compact sealed for life-long partnership. That is why the Hadees declares divorce as an abominable choice. The object of marriage is not merely to satisfy physical desires. Marriage elevates the position of man. He becomes the head of a family and a householder. The woman too becomes the mistress of a home. Man and wife both become lifelong partners in sympathy, comfort, and hardship, pleasure or pain. Such close partnership is absent in unwedded false love. Furthermore, man and wife become the cause of loving and affectionate relations among many families. Families which had no connection before become sympathetic supporters of each other. The father of the wife pays friendly visits to the father of the husband and vice versa. All these loving acts and mutual services are the fruit of Nikah.

Expenses on Nikah

   Umm ul Momineen Hazrat Ayesha reported that the messenger of Allah said:’ No doubt the most blessed Nikah is that which involves the least expenditure.’

Explanation

This Hadees carries the injunction that minimum expenses should be incurred on a marriage. The less the expenditure, the more blessed will be the marriage. The parties will continue to reap its benefits and it will be the means of well-being in the present world and the world of eternity. Our beloved Messenger of Allah himself contracted marriages and married off his daughters too. These marriages were celebrated in a very simple manner.
    Umm ul Momineen Hazrat Ayesha , the daughter of Abu Bakr was the favourite wife of the Messenger of Allah. The Nikah had been performed in Makkah, but the consummation of the marriage took place after emigration to Madina. The simplicity with which the bride was sent to the groom is noteworthy.

Marriage of Hazrat Ayesha

 Umm ul Momineen Hazrat Ayesha was enjoying the swing with her friends in a neighbouring house. Her mother summoned her. Some women helped her in dressing and make up. They then left her alone in a room. It was breakfast time. A little while later the Messenger of Allah visited her. This was the brides send-off. The bride did not ride a sedan-chair nor did the groom mount a horse, nor were any expenses incurred.
The Messenger of Allah had four daughters, Hazrat Zainab, Hazrat Umm-e-Kulsoom, Hazrat Ruqaiyya, Hazrat Fatima. He married off all them and the marriages and send- offs took place with the simplest of ceremony.

The Misery of the People

The Messenger of Allah contracted marriages and gave his daughters in marriage in a simple manner. He was the chief of the two worlds. If the prophet had willed, he could have celebrated these marriages in great splendour, but the prophet set an example of simplicity and issued a permanent instruction that the less expenses incurred in  marriage, the more blessed it would be. We have converted marriage into a calamitous affair and have adopted abominable customs in emulation of the non-Muslims. These customs are followed as a matter of pride and to win applause in the society. Marriages are celebrated by acquiring interest-bearing loans, even though everyone knows that receipt and payment of interests invites the curse of Allah. Huge dowries are given to display riches. Since everyone cannot afford these heavy expenses, young maidens have to wait for marriage for years. Walima ceremonies are held which are displays of gross hypocrisy. The feast is celebrated in the name of the Sunnat, but virtually it is an occasion of ostentation. From Allah we come, to Allah we return.

Ignorant marriage customs

The women have elevated self-made marriage customs to the status of religious obligations. They do not offer Namaaz which is their principal obligation, but carry out marriage rituals as obligatory duties and castigate those who do not subscribe to these customs.

The sin of music

 A large amount is spent on music, singing and dancing by women entertainers. A marriage without music is considered a dull and drab affair.
The Holy Prophet said: ‘My Lord has commanded me to eliminate music and singing, idols and the cross of the Christians and other objects of ignorance.’
                                                                                        (Mishakaatul Masabeeh)
It is a pity that those very things which were the part of the Messenger of Allah’s mission to eliminate are used by Muslims to give colour to their weddings. What’s more, while prayers are being performed in mosques, songs are broadcast on the microphones and the whole neighbourhood resounds with music.
There was a time when Muslims used to fight and kill the Hindus and give away their own lives to prevent them from blowing trumpets before the Mosque. Today Muslims themselves blow trumpets in front of the mosques into the ears of the worshippers.